OK... this blog has gotten far too depressing.. YIKES!! I promise in real life I am somewhat more fun than this. Christmas was fun and instead of making me sad to be around babies I was incrediably happy. I mean totally. My in laws have people who work for them who have a 10 month old and a 2 and half year old with one on the way. Even I panic at the thought of 3 at that age. I got to hold and play with them all Christmas morning. I was in hog heaven and I'm sure their mom was OK with having them off her hands for a little while. Seeing my Sister-in-Law was good too. She was odviously pregnant, but I felt no jealousy at all. I think the main reason is because she had lost a child at 20 weeks and we spoke about how nice it must be for others to take their pregnancies so casually. She's at 23 weeks with this one and doing well physically. H er nurse sister has done a sono each week. That sounds like something I would be doing. I'd be a sono addict. Is there a Songram Anonymous?? If there is please sign me up now. I'm addicted to seeing my insides. They are kinda cool.
I learned something. I have gotten where I can't stand being asked questions about my infertility. I use to be non complacent about it. Now, I find it super intrusive. I need to remember that for myself because I know I've been guilty of that with other people. I autotmatically assume since I was so open about it that others who are going through it are as well. Some aren't, AT ALL!!! I had cousins asking me questions and they got all sympahetic. YUCK YUCK YUCK!!!!! I couldn't tell if it was real or fake, but I didn't want to go in to details about where we were on the process of this with them. I don't even know how they knew about our situation, but most people assume fertility treatments mean IVF when there isn't anything further from the truth. They don't get that, I don't care to explain it to people who I only see like 2 or three times a year. Its too much emotional energy.
On another note there was a pregnancy announcement that threw me for a major loop Christmas Eve from my hubby's cousin who is engaged. What the heck happened to getting married FIRST???? I mean COME ON!!!!! Is that a lost art??? Anyways, I took it hard. I won't go in to detials, but it wasn't pretty. I think sometimes the announcments are harder on me sometimes. I want to get back to the place where I was happy for others and sad for myself. That was a better place to be.
So, emotionally I was all over the place this Christmas.
I hope everyone had a good Christmas.
7 comments:
For what it worth I too believe in getting married first, then having babies. Another similarity, when people were asking me in the past "So when are you going to have a baby" I was like "are you super dumb or just rude and that's why you asking me this?".
Hope you feel better soon. Holidays are stressful.
ICLWer,
Emma
Infertility teaches u not to ask people when they are going to have kids. To me its like asking, "so how much are u doing "it"???
I don't know where you've been in the past, but wow, you sure seem like you handled all the baby stuff and even the pre-wedding baby announcement really well. I think the oops baby announcements are often the hardest.
Dawn at CreatingaFamily.org
Here from ICLW.
I suppose if there is one thing I've gained from this process of ttc, it is that I am much more sensitive to others when it concerns their feelings. I am much better at putting myself into his/her shoes and that stops me from asking a lot of questions.
I am glad the holidays were nice. May 2010 bring you your heart's desires.
Oh no I did not handle the baby announcement well. I was a basket case. I called my mom and dad and went ape shit. It was all sortd of classy let me tell u. That's something I will write in my next post. I'm not going to pat my own back on this one. Seven years of trying versus an "oops." We were the first of his cousins to get married and will be the last to have children, so yup it was bad. Xmas day was much better.
I also believe in marriage first although I realize it may not always happen that way. Holidays are a constant reminder of IF for those going through it. I hope you feel better soon and that 2010 is a better year for you!!! Happy ICLW!
I love those unexpected announcements. They are the BEST (ha)
I hope you have a really good New Year!! ICLW
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