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Saturday, October 27, 2012

If you can't say anything nice

I know I'm not the only one who sees this, but whenever there is an article about a couple who adopts a child or has fertility treatments the responses are extremely cruel from others. I have tried to wrap my head around this as it seems everyone has an opinion, but you really don't hear much about infertility on a daily basis as a topic. It doesn't make the cheeriest of conversations to be honest.
 So, why does it hit a nerve with people who have never lived it? Not only does it hit a nerve it brings out the mean spirits of people. Others tell people they shouldn't have children. "You can't afford adoption or treatments so why in the world would you want a child?" People say to "just adopt one of our millions of orphans in America" as if the process were so simple.
Generally, it seems these comments are made from people who can have children naturally.
I take complete offense to this. I think as a society if it doesn't affect us we don't care.
Many people don't see it as the painful topic that it is. They don't see fertility treatments as a way to start a family. They see them as selfish. I'm still trying to figure out how trying to create my own family makes me any more selfish then someone who gets pregnant easily.
Maybe we should take more concern with teenagers TRYING to get pregnant because its so glamorized than a stable, married couple trying to have a family. There should be NO reason I should have to defend myself with Infertility. That did not come to me as a choice. What did come to me as a choice was how I resolve it.
We've been through this going on TEN YEARS, so at this point I will tell people what I think or how I feel right after they say, "Well, my husband can LOOK at me and I get pregnant." UGH!!