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Friday, July 23, 2010

This Summer

This Summer has been insane. It just has. First, we almost lost my Granny more than once. She is STILL in the hospital and we are unaware of what the outcome will be. My sister got married and that was a rushed mess. She's now pregnant as you can see from my previous post. Finally, I had back surgery. I had a hernia.ted disc and I needed surgery.

Its been a rough two months. I am surprised of how I am dealing with My sis pregnancy. It hurts I can't get pregnant that easily, but of all family members I want this to work out for her the most.
She and I were adopted and being identical we have the same DNA. So, in a way this baby will be half me. For some reason this makes me incrediablly sad but excited at the same time. Sad, because it won't be my husband annd I producing this child.  Excited, because hopefully in the end there will be a little half me out there someway or another.

I can hate my body for not working the way I want and I do,but hating my sister won't help anything. I have been honest with her on the details I dont want to  hear and she's respecting that so far.  I don't wish her the pain of infertility, but I wish that on no one. 

Wednesday, July 7, 2010


   OK, I've never been accussed of not being outspoken, and odviously I have my opinions on certain things in life especially when I've gone through them myself.  I tend to get super outspoken when somone makes a mockery of what I've gone through or will be going through. This post is about a woman my age who CHOSE to have her embryos frozen for later on in life so she can afford to have children. Now, she chose to do this. Its her choice, her money etc. Come what may, she might possibly have children from this expensive procedure. Its  not so much she did this as much as it is the word choice she used about infertile women having IVF. She referred to it as "Desperation IVF." CHOKE, GASP, SCREAM, YELL!!  Ay YI YI... could this woman not be MORE uninformed. Then she goes off to spout all sorts of "factoids" etc. All the while trying to make herself sound like some sort of "fertile hero." 

FIRST and FOREMOST I, nor any other woman who needs fertility treatments is DESPERATE!!! We, desperatly want a child, but we are not desperate people.  Heartbroken, sad, confused, forgotten and living on hope through medical procedures is what we are, but to falsify and say we are desperate is a huge insult. Its as if we CHOSE this. Her cost of 71,000 (cough cough) for IVF is wrong. I don't know where she pulled that FROM.  Also, IVF isn't JUST needed because of age. Some of us are blessed to have Severe Male Factor Infertility making this our only option for a biological child.

So, if you can read this article without flames coming out your ears I encourage you to do so and make a comment to correct her. She is flamboyant in her attitude, so say what you wish.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

ICWL and Fertility Authority

ICWL for July.

I now have my blog linked to This is a great resource for families struggling with infertility. It discusses the emotions that a person deals with along with infertility and has SO many great resources. This site has grown so much in the past year. Their goal, like mine is to get the word out about Infertility and to give people resources that people need. You may have just gotten started on this rollercoaster with no idea of where to turn or you may be an old veteran (like me).  I strongly urge you to check it out. It really is different from any site I have seen. I first learned of this site through Conceive This as she wrote for them as well. 

My blog started as a way to vent about my day. I wasn't too certain I would make it an Infertility blog as it is a personal experience, but at that point my husband and I had gone through this for 5 years and if I heard "If you just relax" one more time I was going to scream! So, I did a LOT more reading of blogs than writing.  I have found them much more resourceful than my own doctor. My doctor can't provide me the emotional support that others who are going through this can.

We have not done IVF as we can't afford it due to lack of insurance coverage. I know we are not alone in this. Our medical issues are PCOS,blocked tube and my husband has a severe varicocile (recent surgery for this). I blog about the emotional issues, possible adoption ( I waver daily on this one), and life in general.

I feel it is important to have our feelings validated. If your upset.. be upset. If your jealous and feel guilty about that. Thats OK too.  I've been there. Its NOT a fun place to be.  I hope you will find my blog interesting and helpful.