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Saturday, January 31, 2009


Whenever I hear of another pregnancy announcement I'll be the first to admit I tend to get jealous/angry depending on who it's coming from, but for the FIRST time in a long time I heard one and I actually thought "Good for her!!"
Yeah, I even shocked myself!!! Now, it was Elizabeth Hasselbeck(who I can only take in itty bitty doses before wanting to drive a nail in my eye), but I know she struggled getting pregnant with baby number 1 and I'm not certain about 2 and three. When I mean struggled I believe she had to do IVF. I get sympathetic when people have to do IUI's or IVF not so much just Clomid. I guess it's because by the time you've reached IUI or IVF you've been through an emotional tornado.
I don't know if I was happy because I tend to be happier for those who struggle or go through a hard time than for those who BAM all of a sudden get knocked up, or if this will be an on going trend. Maybe I will actually start being happy for pregnant people. HMM I hope so. No one wants to get upset when other people have something good happen.
It could be the mood I was in that day as well. We shall see!!! I do know though when I start IVF I will such a lovely bitch(some people aren't, but I know me I'll bloat up and be a crabby ass) that these "announcements" won't make me a happy camper, but I hope until then I can be happy for all of those that get pregnant around me. I really truly want to be. I use to be. I always loved a great baby shower in the past.
Though a part of me will always be quite a bit happier for those who have suffered or struggled. It just comes with the territory.

Thursday, January 29, 2009


Yes, some woman gave birth to octuplets , all of which appear to be fine, born at 30 weeks. I normally don't like to contribute to the hysteria surrounding these types of stories However, I realize that mandy people have not gone through infertility and are not familiar with the NORMAL course of fertility treatment, so I felt a duty to address it in the hopes that I can clear up even one person's misconceptions.

This is NOT normal. Despite the comments you read in any article on this story, this is NOT what happens when people "ignore god's will" and insist on undergoing risky fertility treatment rather than "just adopt". The reason this is in the news is because it is an anomaly. It is also the nightmare of any decent RE or patient.

Furthermore, this is VERY unlikely the result of IVF. I got angry when one of the stupid idiots on View referred to how the mother should have known that her "in vitro" would result in 8 babies. Women undergoing IVF rarely have more than twins. Most REs transfer 2 embryos in an in vitro cycle, occasionally 3 or 4 if the woman is (a) of significantly advanced maternal age, (b) has multiple failed cycles and/or (c) has very low quality embryos. I've never seen on my boards any more than 4 transferred, and have never seen anyone pregnant with more than triplets, and even the triplets are few and far between - in an anecdotal guess I would say fewer than 5%. This is not to say that it doesn't happen, and that doctors don't transfer more, but the standard of care in fertility treatment is to transfer about 2 absent extenuating circumstances. IVF'ers do not have 7 or 8 babies.

What could cause an octuplet pregnancy is probably ovarian hyperstimulation with injectable meds, followed by intrauterine insemination (IUI). However, MOST REs will cancel an IUI cycle if the patient shows more than 3 mature follicles, for the very reason of avoiding high order multiples. Most REs also recommend selective reduction for more than 3, and counsel patients before going forward with an IUI that this is a possible recommendation with more than 2-3 follicles, and the patient has the option to cancel if they are not comfortable with Selective Reduction.

Moral of the story? This is not a typical result of fertility treatment, it is likely due to someone's irresponsibility, either a doctor, the patient (sometimes when counseled against going forward with an IUI due to too many follicles, couples will still have sex in hopes of getting pregnant anyways), or both. I was grateful to see this was the angle on the story some papers took, rather than the sensationalist. Please don't mention the octuplets to someone you know going through fertility treatment and ask if this will be them (same goes for Jon and Kate plus 8).

So, please don't make cruel comments to those who are struggling to get pregnant. Even a "You might have 8 children at one time" or "This is what happens when you play God." is cruel and thoughtless.

I know that I'm lucky that my friends and family are more sensitive and understand that my children will not be science experiments or sources of topical levity, regardless of their method of conception. If more people knew the truth about fertility treatment, maybe others wouldn't be subjected to such cruelty either.

Sunday, January 25, 2009



Why am I thinking of Summer in January??? Well.. I am, because it's about this time (well, give them a few weeks) they start asking what we will be doing this Summer. Well... I need my "me" time. This time makes me a better teacher. There is a reason for Summer and it's NOT for the kiddos!!!
Since I have worked in my school district I have made different plans each Summer. The Summer of 06 I worked on Curriculum this gave me like 5-6 weeks off for the Summer. The next summer I attended like 2 or 3 workshops and that was it. I pretty much got my whole summer off that Summer. Last Summer I worked on Curriculum again making tests, going to workshops and subbing for Summer School. WHEW!!!! I have unoffically (because I tend to change my mind often) have decided NO MORE!!! I WILL HAVE a SUMMER!!!! Now, with that said I may sub a Summer School class or so (teacher's don't miss Summer School as they are paid on a daily basis), but I need the break.
I need the money too, but the break will for certain be needed. So. as of now I will be having a real summer with school over for me on June the 6th so I can come back in August ready and excited and not dreading the begininng of the year. This, I feel makes me a better and happier teacher. Fellow teachers would agree for certain.

Monday, January 19, 2009


Tomorrow Tony starts the Fire Academy!!! He is so excited. He has been "shot up"(taken all his shots) and we've got him new school stuff. Hey you can't start school without GREAT school supplies!!!! I'm super proud of him. We've been putting off going to school for a while due to other things and have decided it's now or never. It's exciting and scary all at the same time.
He will be done early this Summer so that is great. So please pray that he has a great and productive time in school!!!!

Saturday, January 10, 2009

warning... Random:)

Pain is a funny emotion. It has the ability to tear families apart or bring them together. Some have opinions on how you should deal with it. It's also forever changing. We spend our time comparing our pain to others. Does this person feel the same I feel? Is it worse than mine? Did I cry enough? Why can't I cry? We spend our lives avoiding it and seeking healing from it(therapist make big bucks for a reason).

How do we measure emotional pain? Do you get one of these smiley chart face thingys from the doctor with faces and numbers 1-10 and the faces gradually become worse and say "it hurts this much?"

I've often wondered how can two people go through a painful event and one become stronger in their faith and another a life long alcoholic.Is thaere a fork in the road as you go through the process and you choose A) Alcoholic B) God? I mean why do some people go thorough life seemingly with little pain and others have life thrown at them at every direction? We are told "Your reward is in heaven." So when you get to heaven is there a place for those who have suffered and those who haven't? Does God say "You suffered, so you get this mansion and you didn't go through anything so you get this house."

Some people take their pain and make it positive, others make it a negative.

I know there really aren't answers to these questions, but it's something I've been thinking about.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009


OK... get ready for TMI, but today I was SO freakin bloated I knew I HAD to go to the gym. I wasn't as good to my body this holiday as I was last year. HELLO... some times you have to have pecan pie and I hadn't had it in a year and half!!! So, I left school, went home, got dressed quickly, got back in my little car and hauled butt to the gym by 5:30 and BARELY made it for my Spin Class. Now, this class is so intense most people who start for the first time walk out after the first few minutes,so it's never really a packed class. Most people just watch through the window and shake their heads probably thinking "those people are insane."
Now, there is generally about 9-10 people who attend this class, but NOT TODAY!! There was 24 people and I got the last bike, RIGHT in the front row(I HATE the front row). New Year's Resolutions at their best I guess. Not certain if I would start my first workout as the Spinning Class due to the fact it is so intense that I'd get frustrated and say "forget this workout shit, I'm going to Popeyes."
People were waiting in line to sign up for the new year. This same trend happened last year as well. By March, many had stopped showing up, but there are some who have continued and have had great success since last January. If you start to work out for the first time in a long time I strongly suggest you start with a nice little "Beginners Step class" because if you don't you'll die in the Spinning class. Build up your endurance, then when you feel ready try the Spin Class again. IT'S SOOO worth it!!!!

Sunday, January 4, 2009

My thoughts for the New Year!!!

I'm hoping that 2009 is a MUCH better year than 08'. I'm sorry, but this past year just sucked. It was a blah year. I know many people who think so. Reasons below:
1) Global reasons... none of the news is good economically. It's just painful for everyone. NO one likes to feel unstable. Ike too took a toll on many people financially and emotionally. Many are still dealing with the aftermath. Thus, they are probably telling 2008 to kiss their ass.
2)Personal reasons... No baby for the Grahams(duh), we are still renting(this is by choice somewhat), turning 29(it stings) because I plan on being this age for 5 years:)
3)Health... My grandpa had a small stroke. Thankfully, he is doing well, but he's 90 and that was SO tough for him to go through and you know old men. They are stubborn!!!
NOW for 2009....
Good things
1) Tony is going to the Fire Academy this Spring. I'm normally very apprehensive, but this is something HE wants to do, and you know men. Once they get their minds set on something. He'll have his FF license by June and EMT by July. We'll be broke, but he will be working part time. We'll adjust. We always do.
2) HOPEFULLY we can start putting some massive money away for IVF. The toll will be around $20,000.(I know you think "she's crazy, that's how much my car cost I'd NEVER do that... well I've said those words before, and as my mom would say "famous last words." yeah, well I have no choice) I'm thinking of doing a program where you can have 3 rounds for a set price and then get 75% back if you don't have a live baby. Sad huh?? I mean your SUPPOSE to do this pregnancy thing for free!! Which brings me to a thought I had today while making supper.
Of course I know most people get pregnant by having sex. You know, what they teach you in school, but I seriously forgot that's how its suppose to happen. I mean I pass a couple with a kid and I wonder if they had to have fertility drugs or if it was "easy for them." Crazy huh? I'm certain in most cases it was easy. I guess I've gotten use to the idea of the route we will have to go.
3) We have found a church!! We found a good Methodist Church in Deer Park and we like the preacher.
I hope everything works out for everyone this year and its MUCH better than 08 was!!!

Thursday, January 1, 2009

new years 09

Happy New Year!!!!

We had a great New Year's Eve at an ex co-workers house. They were very hospitable and cooked some GREAT food!!!! I, of course made some resolutions, but am NOT sharing. To me, it's like a B-Day wish when you blow out the candles... you can't share it, it's bad luck!!!! I'm posting pics below