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Friday, September 5, 2014

since my last post.

Wow... such craziness has occured since my last post.
I had the surgery. They had to remove my ovaries and tubes due to scar tissue. I also had a few complications. I had my bladder and bowel nicked.
I was on a low fiber diet and had a catheter for two weeks. You know those lovely bowel cleanses u have to do before abdominal surgery?? Do it!!! It saved me.
Then, 10 days after the surgery my incison got infected, and I had to be readmitted. Long story short, for the next 7 to 8 weeks I couldn't work because they had to reopen my incison and leave it open. Very eye opening and crazy. But.... I survived. Some people are not as fortunate and are fighting a much more difficult fight.
So, now I am dealing with menopause and hormone replacement.  Its fun stuff:(.  Through all this, I have been so impressed with my hubby who made every appointment and helped out with everything. I also don't think I could have had a more caring group of docs.  Super impressed doesnt even begin to cover it. I was almost in tears at my last appointment and wanted to say :"you care. You really care. Thank you soooo much."  I know that sounds miniscule, but I have never had a doc I feel 100 comfortable with that I can open up to.  I can tell my doc anything and not feel judged. Any question I ask isnt  dumb questions to him , and no arrogance. Ive had my share of rude arrogant docs. It drives me mad. I had an ovarian cyst removed over a decade ago, and that doc was great. Had we not moved, I would have made him my regular doc. The next doc had crappy nurses who laughed when they called with my husband's test results.  Then, we went to an RE here. I admired his knowledge,  but he was rushed, and I didn't feel cared for. I always left feeling broken. When I asked for some anti anxiety meds before Xmas because I was going to be around pregnant people he told me to be happy in the fact that I could drink and they couldnt. Did. anxiety.
 So, I feel like God brought these docs in to my life for peace of some sort.  I can't even think about the reality of never getting pregnant. I cant talk about it not even with my husband. I do all I can not to think about it.  They kept my uterus in because I guess it looked normal. So, with some creativity and my sister's eggs I could possibly get pregnant, but we  have no money to do such a thing. I deal with periods and hot flashes. We are working on balancing it all.  So, now that all the thoughts pouring out in any random order I don't know where this leads us. I'm drained emotionally, but feel blessed in others through all this.

 can tell anything to. This is the first one.