All better

Ok... put a band aid on my wound I'm all better now... sorta.
I feel better about my Sister-In-Law being pregnant. I have NO IOTA of a clue why I do, but I do.  Now, I'm not all up for hearing details about it, but I've come to the conclusion my anger won't make anything go away no matter how hard I try. I've officially diagnosed myself as bipolar on certain aspects in life. When I hear pregnancy announcements all I want to do is freak out and do fertility treatments.  Then, in time I chill out and thne lean towards adoption. This little war is so much fun in my head, let me tell you.  I read adoption blogs and think..  "WOW!" Then, I think of the reality.. The paperwork etc.  I do have to admit that earlier this year I started collecting photos and going to the scrapbooking store to make a family scrapbook.  I even found some cool adoption scrapbook pages. So, I have the stuff.   Has it gotten started yet??? HA. Those good intentions get you everytime. 

I think pouring yourself in to the process is what you have to do to get through the reality of it all.  I wish more people would give their babies up for adoption. This, of course is a selfish wish.  If we adopted, we would have to wait until we had something more than our one bedroom apartment. So, we probably wouldn't even get started on the process until next Summer. HOWEVER, this does give me time to get the scrapbook ready as it would take me 6 months to do it. I'm certain it takes others a month or so, but I did start collecting stuff back in January and February, so history proves this will take me a while.

Things I know IF we adopt (and tomorrow I could totally change my mind.  Told ya I'm bipolar about this).

1. I want an infant or a young baby.
2. I want a semi open or open adoption.
3. If I adopt once I'll probably adopt again.
4. NO if I adopt I will NOT get pregnant if I adopt. I can't scream that loudly enough. It won't happen. Thank. you. very. much. That happens to people who have unexplained infertility, and we are SO not unexplained.
5. We'd move closer to our families.

So, we'll see.