Update

Oh, the miles and miles of this great state!!! We went to biomom's 37 week appointment. She was 2cm dialated,90% effaced and very low. That was a week ago today. We are hoping this week there will be even more progress. Her doctors who have been amazing don't predict this go past 39 weeks. That's the latest!! I'll keep this updated as we go. It's amazing to think after 13 years we could be parents very, very soon!!!  What an amazing gift!!

What no one told me about adoption

If you read my blog, you know I am adopted .  This is a wonderful thing
for my future baby.  I can relate to her on that aspect. I'm the SOON to be adoptive mom now and it's different.

1) This is stressful guys!!!
Like whoa!!' Home study done. Nursery Done. Waiting for baby to be born done.
I am normally a realist, but I know full well birth mama can change her mind.
I am not in any way prepared for that. How could I be?? Other than the fact that
I know it could occur does not make it any easier.  I don't think anyone could be trained to
have that happen. You just have to keep faith.

2) You can't use Short Term Disability for leave
Yup!!! America sucks when it comes to paid leave. We are behind Afghanistan. Chew on that for a
bit.  One redeaming this is STD for mom's who give birth. Well, adoptions don't qualify. So, if you don't have a lot of banked sick days or vacation days(teaching gets zero paid vacation) then, well you better start saving. Get with the rest of the world America!! Paid leave is bonding time with your
baby/child. It's a need. Off my soapbox.

3) It's scary!!
This is unknown territory for us.  I pray we are doing everything correctly. I'm trying to dot my "I's" and crosss my "Ts". I don't want anything to bite our butts at the 11th hour.

I'm the end you need faith!!! SO much!' You got this!!!  

P

Final Homestudy

Our homestudy is FINAL!!!
Wahooo!!!

I had someone ask me when the baby is home with us, is it all over?  No,  it is not.  At least the process isn't over.  We will have more home visits to make sure all is going well until finalization.
They commented on how that isn't fair.  How drug addicted women bring home babies and have keep having more and more babies. They then asked if I was bitter about such scrutiny. Good point. What is true is that I had quick seconds of bitterness as I was filling out forms and faxing them in to the caseworker.  They faded quickly. I just kept filling out forms.   I have simply waited too long for this to let the bitterness eat me alive.  The facts are what they are.  I can't change them. There are some cold hard truths.

1) I can not physically give birth to a child
2) a woman has chosen us to parent this precious gift
3)  I GET TO BE A MOM!!! We get to be parents

Women would die to be in my shoes.  I know it. I am fully aware of that fact. I chose not to be bitter. It was a concious choice.

I pray daily I remain this way.

It's never "just adopt."

In adoption there is loss. I acknowledge that fact. There is also soooo much love. We care for our birth mother,and she is like family now.  I am practically giddy with how many people will love our baby.  It's wonderful.  This has not been easy by any means. I am juggling work, adoption and figuring out maternity leave!! Whew!!!! I guess I am adjusting to being a mama.  Keep praying for all!!

Guilt #mircroblogmondays

One surprising emotion I have come across is guilt.  One day this past week it was overwhelming until I finally shared with our biomom how I felt.  She eased my feelings quite a bit. She chose us(I STILL can't wrap my head around that) because she feels we would be the best for her child.  My guilt comes from my own pain due to infertility. I understand loss, and it hurts that someone has to endure a loss in this process.  One more reason I am a pro open adoption supporter. She will have access to our social media, we text and will be meeting throughout the year.  I pray this will help ease her pain and make her more confident in her choice.

The Homestudy

 HOME STUDY........

I spent two weeks of my summer vacation filling out adoption application paperwork like a mad woman. I was on a mission!!! Needless to say, I got the 13 page application done in two days. The remaining paperwork needed before the home study was faxed in within the next two weeks.  Criminal background (CHECK), FBI fingerprinting (CHECK), and that's just the beginning of it all.....

One of the most nerve wracking parts of the entire adoption process is the home study.   No one likes feeling "judged"; especially if you have endured years of infertility and decide to adopt.  You have to prove you are fit to be a parent BEFORE you can have a child come in to your home. It can be frustrating, and for some people the worst part of the entire process.  Fortunate for us, it wasn'

 I'm going to give you some MORE advice(you know JUST like when you were TTC and your neighbor's neighbor's friend said that their cousin had a hard time getting pregnant, and they stood on their head for 30 minutes "after" and BAM they were pregnant the next month) cause well... it's uncharted territory.

1) Get your house professionally cleaned.  You would be amazed how many people will be willing to help you if you tell them what it's for. TOTALLY worth it.

2) Set up a "baby room."  If you are still waiting for a baby this may be difficult. Heck, it was for us, but borrow from a friend if you need to.  You don't need a fancy crib, but  a basinnett and diapers will do. Just show u have a place for a baby/child.

3)  Baby proof like your hair is on fire. Those door handles are SO hard to open right now!!!!

4) RELAX!!! I'm basically telling myself this, cause that was difficult for me, but relax.

5) Bake cookies... it gives you something to do 30 minutes ahead of time, and makes the house homey.... offer water as well. It helps.

6) Get a GOOD night sleep the night before. Go to bed early, and when you get up do something productive. I advise praying, meditate, run, whatever it is you need to "chill."  
Our home study lasted 3 hours. We showed her around the house. She then interviewed us together. After that, we were spoken to at different times.  I feel like it went really well, and hopefully will be finalized within the next month.

If you have any questions just leave them in the comments below.

How it began

A good friend of mine e-mailed me on Facebook about speaking to a young woman about adoption since I was adopted myself.  I responded with "sure!!" A few days later I e-mailed the young woman and Long story short she e-mailed us and asked if we were interested in adopting her baby. I was floored, but of course said, "Sure." I knew another couple was in the "running" so to speak, and the bio mom and I e-mailed back and forth for a few weeks. She was wanting to know my view on open adoption, which I shared with her. We decided to meet in person the last week of July and she said she chose us. I cried (of course) and texted people, called and cried some more!!!

 We are doing this entire process backwards.  The bio mom chose us, we had our home study done within two weeks of applying (SERIOUSLY that has to be some record) and hope to have it finalized within the next month. 

Am I scared? Yes!!!
Did I post this all over Facebook??? YES!!! 

Here are some facts I am sharing
1)It is a very open adoption
2) It is in our same state
3) Yes, we will be there for the birth (HUGE BLESSING)

In my prior stalking of a zillion blogs reading of adoption blogs from all angles, I have learned a lot.  While open adoption may not be for everyone, it is for us in this specific situation.   We have waited 13 years for a child.  This blessing is not lost on us.

One reason I am returning to this blog is to keep track of how I feel in this process.  I want to be able to look back and remember how I longed for a child, and the pain I endured. I pray when this is adoption is final I "come out on the other side" so to speak. 

This is the largest "Leap of Faith" I have ever taken in my life. 

GRACE

The defentition of Grace in biblical terms is "Unearned gift, a favor bestowed as a gift."

It is with great happiness that I announced a birthmother has chosen us to parent her precious child.  I would like to keep the full details private, but it will be due January.

Over thrilled, overjoyed amazed is how we feel.  I remain in shock and awe in our birth mother's bravery.  We are also amazed at the positive reaction we have received from friends, family and strangers alike.

Adoption has evolved from what it use to be, and I praise God for that.  Our hearts are full and I have filled out more paperwork than I should, but with each form I fill out I focus on our gift.

I have had to have faith in this process.

I reflect on my blog and in one post I mentioned that maybe time was our obstacle.

This isn't anyone's timing,but God's.

So, when you pray, pray for our birth mother and  her heart. Pray for our precious bundle. Pray for us and our faith during this process.